if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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