He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
