When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This baby is an asshole
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
