I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
