You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
