i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
