Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
