Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
