Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
