It's Friday. Sex?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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