Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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