it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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