There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
