ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
