just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
