i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
