clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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