I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
