Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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