What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
