You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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