All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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