and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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