I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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