We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
