I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize