omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
