And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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