Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
