I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
