My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
