Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
