Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
