Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
