lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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