If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
