I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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