I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's rum buckets o'clock
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize