What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize