I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't deserve a penis
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
