when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
