she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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