I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
