Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
