i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
