Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
