Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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