she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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