last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
