So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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