Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
