There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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