Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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