It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
