Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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