you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
