If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think your dad took our porno
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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