Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
