We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
