I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
