please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
