youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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