her vagine was all disorganized.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize