did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
