the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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